It's Raining, It's Pouring
5/4/11 06:58![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madrobinsSpringtime in the Berkshires has not been as full of daffodils and chirping birds as I recall it. Rain and hail yesterday, with a short period of thunder and lightning. Today, rain and high winds. I've been staying at a friend's absolutely lovely lake house about 20 minutes drive from Kimball Farms (where Dad is); this morning before the rain started it was gorgeous in a Japanese print sort of way: the lake is still iced, but the ice is melting; there were fissures everywhere, which made it look like the surface of the moon, rugged and ashen. Above that, morning mist rising off the icy lake. Above that, a pewter sky. Not encouraging but pretty.
Things continue in much the same way, but Dad's spiraling down. We had thought we might be able to get him into a wheelchair to get him to the dining room for breakfast, but he was exhausted this morning and we gave up the idea. Maybe later (although aside from the emotional benefit to him, I'm not sure he won't scare the hell out of residents who are still in reasonable health and don't want to imagine that this is in their future. Sometimes he makes not so much sense: talks to people we're not seeing, gestures at tasks we don't see him undertaking. Being visually impaired, he hasn't much sense of what time of day it is, and his most common gesture is to touch the button on his "talking" wristwatch and hold it to his ear to hear what time it is. He's still got some humor in there, but I can see him getting frustrated by his inability to make clear what he wants. He's had more periods of apnea, for the rest his vitals are pretty good.
I'm learning a lot. That ghoul of a writer in me is taking notes for a future scene in a Sarah Tolerance book.
I miss my home, my family, my dog. I'm enjoying hanging with my brother, with his wife (who had to go home a few days ago, but will be back), and with his son (who came out from Kentucky on Sunday and left this morning) and many of Dad's fans here at Kimball. I'm trying to give myself a hall-pass for not getting much work done. I'm trying not to wish it were all done and just be here now, as the motivational speakers say.
ETA: At one point, when my brother and Eva (the healthcare aide) and I were sitting in the other room, I heard Dad say "It's not over until the Fat Lady sings!" I do wonder what he was responding to.
Things continue in much the same way, but Dad's spiraling down. We had thought we might be able to get him into a wheelchair to get him to the dining room for breakfast, but he was exhausted this morning and we gave up the idea. Maybe later (although aside from the emotional benefit to him, I'm not sure he won't scare the hell out of residents who are still in reasonable health and don't want to imagine that this is in their future. Sometimes he makes not so much sense: talks to people we're not seeing, gestures at tasks we don't see him undertaking. Being visually impaired, he hasn't much sense of what time of day it is, and his most common gesture is to touch the button on his "talking" wristwatch and hold it to his ear to hear what time it is. He's still got some humor in there, but I can see him getting frustrated by his inability to make clear what he wants. He's had more periods of apnea, for the rest his vitals are pretty good.
I'm learning a lot. That ghoul of a writer in me is taking notes for a future scene in a Sarah Tolerance book.
I miss my home, my family, my dog. I'm enjoying hanging with my brother, with his wife (who had to go home a few days ago, but will be back), and with his son (who came out from Kentucky on Sunday and left this morning) and many of Dad's fans here at Kimball. I'm trying to give myself a hall-pass for not getting much work done. I'm trying not to wish it were all done and just be here now, as the motivational speakers say.
ETA: At one point, when my brother and Eva (the healthcare aide) and I were sitting in the other room, I heard Dad say "It's not over until the Fat Lady sings!" I do wonder what he was responding to.