Got "Aaaaaarrrr"?

That's right, me hearties. It's Talk Loik a Pirate Day. Swash yer bucklers and shiver yer timbers, and be damned to ye if ye cannot heave an insult as deedily as you heave to!

Or something like that.

ETA:

My pirate name is:

Captain Jenny Kidd

Even though there's no legal rank on a pirate ship, everyone recognizes you're the one in charge. Even though you're not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
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Shopping in the 21st Century

Avocado is off with one of her Scout-buddies, shopping.

In the olden days, of course, she'd just come home with a piece of clothing and have it declared inappropriate or adorable, depending, by her parents. Or otherwise ignored.

These days, she texts me photos of each garment for my comments.

It helps, of course, that she's slender and adorable and makes the damned clothes look good. It's easy to text back "cute" and return to formatting a story in Joomla, which hates me...