Casual Bastardy
6/6/06 22:53![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
madrobinsOne of my guilty pleasures, first thing in the morning before my brain is able to handle weightier matters (like the comics page) is Dear Abby, which is on the back page of the Chronicle's Datebook section. I know that the sort of person who writes to Dear Abby rather than seeking the counsel of a therapist or minister or social worker or whatever is likely to be a weird mixture of clueless and deeply conventional. So what I'm wondering is: when did all these conventional (albeit clueless) women start having babies out of wedlock. It seems to me that every other day a letter is published where the writer is "engaged" or "going out with" or "seeing" or "in love with" a wonderful man/woman/ocelot, and there's only one slight problem. I'm not that interested in the problem--it's usually something that a person with an elementary grounding in literature would have seen coming a mile away, but that's okay. But in all these letters there's usually a sentence that reads "we have a six month old daughter" or "our little boy is now four years old." They're not certain the guy is right for them--hell, half the time they're not sure the guy is available, or straight, or trustworthy, but they're having a baby with him?
The social conservatives would say that it's all because no one has any moral fiber, and what we need is less sex education and more moral training. And I have to say that, while on the one hand it's a grand thing that bastardy no longer carries the stigma it used to, I think that regularizing a relationship in some way--marrying or drawing up papers regarding the child's support--is important, if only so that you know where to send the bailiffs when Dad defaults on child support. (Or Mom. Let's be fair.) But maybe if there was a little more sex ed and a little more reasonably available contraception--including Plan B--there would be fewer out-of-wedlock kids and fewer abortions. Of course Abby might run out of letters. I guess I'll just have to blame Abby.
The social conservatives would say that it's all because no one has any moral fiber, and what we need is less sex education and more moral training. And I have to say that, while on the one hand it's a grand thing that bastardy no longer carries the stigma it used to, I think that regularizing a relationship in some way--marrying or drawing up papers regarding the child's support--is important, if only so that you know where to send the bailiffs when Dad defaults on child support. (Or Mom. Let's be fair.) But maybe if there was a little more sex ed and a little more reasonably available contraception--including Plan B--there would be fewer out-of-wedlock kids and fewer abortions. Of course Abby might run out of letters. I guess I'll just have to blame Abby.