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Emily keeps telling me that she was beaten with sticks at the Dog Prison Hotel, but she has no welts, there are no signs of bamboo having been forced under her claws, and she's hale and hearty and damned near didn't let us leave the kennel because she was jumping up so fiercely to explain the depth of her love for me and her despair at being heartlessly abandoned.
In unrelated news: I tried to make coffee this morning and discovered that Avocado, not knowing how these things are done (because she hasn't been paying attention for the past 13 years) had put milk in the kitchen kettle to make hot cocoa, and had not cleaned it out before she left, with the result that my coffee was not drinkable, and the kettle is now, um, in recovery. Why did the kids put jam on the cat?
In unrelated news: I tried to make coffee this morning and discovered that Avocado, not knowing how these things are done (because she hasn't been paying attention for the past 13 years) had put milk in the kitchen kettle to make hot cocoa, and had not cleaned it out before she left, with the result that my coffee was not drinkable, and the kettle is now, um, in recovery. Why did the kids put jam on the cat?