Oh, as usual, Dear

Avocado's birthday, January 24, falls on a Saturday this year. She's been planning for this for years. But there's a rub. Her friend Gabe is having his Bar Mitzvah the same day--the actual ceremony in the morning, then a lavish party at The Hypnodrome (don't ask me) in the evening. And since his is the first Bar Mitzvah of the year, all A's friends are very psyched about it and the party, and the Bar Mitzvah Boy himself doesn't seem to understand that this is upsetting to Avocado, who had hoped to have maybe a party during the time between when his ceremony ends and his evening party begins. The information I get on the matter is imperfect and, um, highly colored by A's stress in the matter. All my suggestions (have a party on a different date, shall I talk to his parents about the afternoon? have you considered hemlock?) are pushed aside. "I just need to vent!" she says, quite reasonably.

I just want to fix it and make it go away. Particularly because we're not in a position this year (even if we were willing to do it) to rent out a restaurant or tourist attraction or whatever. It's going to be a long Bar/Bat Mitzvah season, I can see.